Ardor in August: Lost and Found

[nuinzilien.livejournal.com]

Title:  Lost and Found
Author:  Nuinzilien
Email:  cats.meow83@gmail.com
Rating:  hard-R/ soft NC-17
Pairing:  Elrond/ Elros
Warnings:  AU, folks, some angst
Beta:  Zhie
Request:  Elrond/ Elros, in which Elros comes back.  Happy ending, please.
Summary:  Good things come to those who wait…

A.N.  –  Roane (sometimes called Selkies or Silkies) are seals who can shed their skin and become human in order to take lovers among the land dwellers.

 

 

Two pairs of gray eyes stared at the competition line up, one with excited anticipation, the other with sick dread.

Elrond turned to his twin.  “Prepare to have your backside handed to you, Brother.”

Elros’ smile was weak.  “You always *talk* a good game, little Elrond.” He returned, wondering if he could claim sudden illness without Elrond calling him on the lie.  Or, as would be the more likely result, insisting on tending his twin until he’d returned to good health.  There were certainly advantages to having a twin whose healing talents rivaled that of full-elves more than a hundred times his age. 

But there were just as many disadvantages.  While he loved spending time with his twin, it was very difficult to feign illness and slip away for a bit of…ahem…private time with Lady Mab and her five réllith.  Which was something he’d needed to do more and more frequently these days.  How utterly maddening it was to be aroused by Elrond’s habit of sucking on his quill-tip, or AdaMag playing his harp.  Or a dripping honey pastry, for Valar’s sake!  He’d begun taking on a page’s duties just to have a few moments of relief!

And now…now he was doomed.  He would be an exile, forever to walk the lands of the East, branded a perverted and twisted soul.  And Elrond…he could not bear to contemplate Elrond’s reaction when HE found out…

A sharp sound pulled Elros from his thoughts.  He smiled at Elrond’s suspicious look.  “Ready for your beating?”

“A better question would be are YOU ready?  Should we withdraw from the competition?”  At Elros’ blank expression, Elrond sighed.  “They’ve called our names three times now.”  He lifted his hand and placed it to Elros’ brow, then his cheek.  “Your skin is clammy, Elros.  Are you truly this nervous?”

“I’m fine!” Elros snapped irritably, ducking away from Elrond’s touch.  “Stop coddling me!”  He stalked out to the ring.

 

~~~~

 

The pair writhed, grunts and groans filling the air.  Each fought to dominate the other in their play, muscles flexing, bodies straining toward the inevitable climax.

Seeing that he was about to lose spectacularly, Elrond did what any self-respecting half-elf would do.

Elros blinked in shock as Elrond’s lips smashed against his.  One could say he was almost taken off guard.  Almost.  He shoved Elrond back to the ground, growled his dominance, and claimed his twin’s mouth for his own.

Silence rang through the assembly, louder than the wail of a doomed soul.  Even more damning was the shocked silence from below.  Elros looked down at his shocked mirror image, the blood roaring in his ears.

Elrond looked up into wide, horrified eyes.  “Elro-“

He was gone, feet barely leaving imprints in the soft dirt of the combat ring.

~~~~

Two brothers shared sympathetic looks from across the arena.  They knew the troubled road laying ahead of the Peredhil twins, and resolved to render aid as best they could.  Which, given their respective positions, alas, was not going to be easy.

~~~~

For two weeks and 3 days, Elros managed to avoid his twin, often leaving before dawn and not returning to their room until well after he knew Elrond had fallen asleep.

On the evening of Day 17 of ‘Project: Avoid Elrond’, the game of Hide and Find was over.

Elrond walked up behind his brother.  “Elros, where are you going?”

Elros’ back stiffened as he folded another tunic.  “Wherever I am sent.”

Elrond blinked.  “But…they’ve never sent you away before.”

Elros sighed.  “I asked for it.”

The light dawned for the younger twin.  Elros was running.  “Elros, you do not need to do this!”

“Aye, I do.”

Elrond began to feel the cold hand of desperation squeeze his throat.  “Nay, you do not.  Elros, if you just TELL me what it is, we can face it together, as we always have.”

“Nay, we cannot!”

“But Elr –“

Elros yanked the pack onto his back.  “STOP, Elrond.  Just stop.  Can you not understand?  I am running from YOU!  You stifle me!”  He disappeared through the door.

Elrond slumped down onto the bed, blinking in shock.  // You stifle me…//

~~~~

Elrond barely acknowledged the hand that came to rest on his shoulder.

“The pain will linger in your mind for a long time,” said one who would know.  “But, it WILL fade.”

“Do not speak to me that of which you know nothing,” Elrond muttered bitterly.

Maglor sighed.  “As you wish.”  He gently kissed Elrond’s hair and left, the door closing behind him with a quiet *snick*. 

~~~~

Elrond,

I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am for the way we parted twenty-seven years ago.  My only explanation – and a poor one it is – is that I was ashamed.  And afraid.  My body had grown increasingly out of my control, and its timing could not have been more inconvenient.

I am sorry for what I said, Elrond.  You never stifled me, or coddled me (at least, not more than I was willing to tolerate).  I thought that perhaps by making you angry at me, it would make the parting easier to endure.

For me, at least, it has been agony…and yet, a blessing in disguise, perhaps. While traveling with Gildor’s wanderers, I have learned a deep appreciation for life and what it means to be an Elf.  But, as reluctant as I am to give up the nomad’s life…I miss you more, my twin.

You are my other half, Elrond.  Perhaps, I dare say, my *better* half.

I will return, when I have found what I need, both within and without.

 

~~Elros

 

Elrond sat back and chewed the end of his quill.  Much about Elros’ abrupt departure still puzzled him.  However, it was good to know his twin was well and enjoying his travels.

Elros,

I am greatly relieved to hear from you.  Nary has a day passed during which, at some point, I have not wondered what excitement you have found, and what drove you away from here…

~~~~

Elrond stared at the heavy gates to the fortress, willing them to part in welcome.  Elros was coming home today after so long away.  Monthly (and sometimes semi-monthly) letters were well and good, but they could not take the place of a good, genuine, face-to-face conversation.  And Elrond certainly had much to talk about.

He was in love.

He knew not when it happened, or the how, or the why, but it had.  There was still the small matter of whether or not his love interest returned his feelings, but who cared?  His twin was coming HOME, and he was in LOVE!!!  Now, if only said homecoming twin would come through the blasted ga…oh, there he is!

Elros walked his horse into the fortress, unloading his baggage quickly.  A gentle stroke to the nose and a few soft words later, the horse – a rather haughty looking bay, Elrond noted – ambled toward the stables. 

Elros dusted himself off, picked up his bags, and looked around.  He smiled and headed for Elrond.

Elrond pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, burying his face in Elros’ hair.  He sighed and pulled back.  “Braids held by bone and animal skin?  Goodness, you look positively barbaric.”

Elros chuckled.  “Aye, well, the younger races have fascinating ideas on personal care.  You do not care for it?  I rather thought the animal skins gave me a dangerous look…”

Elrond snorted.  “Come, we have a bath ready for you.  You DO still bathe, do you not?”

Elros rolled his eyes.  “You got sassy over the last forty years, little brother.”  He threw the heaviest pack toward him.

Elrond shook his head and caught it, hefting the load easily.  “And stronger, brother.  I want a rematch.”

Elros paused for a moment, then smirked and lifted his own burden.  “Aye, though you will still lose.”

~~~~~~~~~

The walk toward their chamber and the bath was silent, the air between them heavy with expectation.  Elrond placed the bags in the corner, walked up to Elros, and began to pulled his dirt-encrusted travel cloak from him.  “I have missed you, Elros.”

Elros sighed and stroked Elrond’s hair back behind his ear.  “I missed you too.  I needed to work things out in my head, and maybe see a little bit of what is beyond the fortress walls.  You should do the same one day, you know?  It’s a huge world, and I saw things I would never have thought possible.  Men dressed as animals, oliphants, horse worshippers…well, alright, the horse worshippers you’re probably better off NOT meeting…”

Elrond snorted and stripped Elros of his tunic.  “Were those the ones you and Gildor brassed off when you trotted into the village riding their deities?”

Elros snorted and began unweaving the braids from his hair.  “Aye, but really, how were we supposed to know?  The guide mentioned nothing about religious taboos.  We barely escaped with our hides intact.  Completely and utterly NOT my fault.”

Elrond brushed his hand away and finished off the braids.  “You didn’t tell me you were injured, Elros.”

Elros blinked.  “What makes you think I was injured?”

Elrond sighed.  “Eeeelros, you were gone for forty years, but I like to think I still know you.  First, you actually asked that.  Dead give away.  And you’ve been stalling since we got in here.”

“I hav –“

“Elros, take off your pants.”

Elros glared for a long moment, then sighed and let his pants fall to the floor.

Elrond blinked at the puckered scar.  He moved close and knelt, prodding at it gently.  “It is only by the grace of the Valar that you are not relieving yourself via quill.”

Elros sighed, clenching his eyes closed as he felt his body respond to the warm touch so close to…other things.

Elrond noted the response.  “Well, good to know I can still be an uncle one day.”

Elros blinked, thrown by the comment.  “Oh, er…aye.”  He followed Elrond to the bathing chamber, wondering if he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

He stepped into the bath, groaning as his travel-stressed muscles slowly relaxed.  “Ohhhh…”

Elrond chuckled.  “Poor you.  I’ll bet you cannot even reach to clean your hair.”

Elros scowled and reached…not even getting half way.

Elrond snorted and stripped, sitting on the edge of the bath and pulling Elros back between his legs.  He picked up the vial of hair cleanser and began to massage it into Elros’ scalp.

Elros sighed and leaned back against Elrond’s hip.  He blinked as his cheek brushed a column of flesh.  Ignoring Elrond’s tiny gasp, he turned and nuzzled it gently.

Choked silence.

Encouraged, Elros pressed further, taking Elrond into his mouth and sucking gently.  He sighed and relaxed once he felt Elrond’s hand carefully rest on his head.

After a moment of shocked stillness, Elrond let out a soft, shuddering sigh.  “’Rosssssssss…”  At Elros’ questioning hum, Elrond let out an undignified squeak and came.  “Aaaaaaayyyyyee…oh, aye.”

Elros pulled back and smiled, resting his cheek on Elrond’s thigh.

Elrond blinked down at him fuzzily.  “Where…”

Elros chuckled and nuzzled his thigh, then ducked down to rinse his hair.  “I told you,” he said as he surfaced, wiping the water from his eyes.  “The wanderers taught me many things about life…and love.”

“Love?” Elrond asked, feeling a not- so-tiny stab of jealousy.

Elros sighed and nodded.  “Aye, love.  Gildor’s people held no shame in their bodies.  They lived unhindered by conventional morals.  They ate as they would, sang as they would, made love as they would… they were free.”

Elrond swallowed.  “And did you find someone to love while you traveled?”

Elros smiled.  “Aye.”

Elrond felt the world drop from under him.  “Oh.  I…I suppose he or she will be coming here soon?”

Elros chuckled.  “Nay.”  He kissed Elrond’s hip.  “HE was here the entire time.  I was just too afraid to admit.”  He rose up between Elrond’s legs like a Roane of yore, water streaming from hair and sleek, sun-gilded skin.  “You, Elrond, my other half.  My love.”

Elrond blinked.  “Me?”  He bit his lip.

Elros smiled.  “Aye, YOU.”

Elrond paused, just long enough to make Elros second-guess himself…then smiled broadly.  “Good.  I feared I would be forced to hunt down some roving male, drag him back, and make him do right by you.”

Elros rolled his eyes and kissed him.

~~~~

That night, two halves formed one soul, and both were happy.

But, as all know, time passes.  Fate comes for us all, and not even love can deny its pull.

~~~~

 “I choose Elf,” Elrond declared.

Elros closed his eyes, preparing himself as he felt fate’s hand wrap around him in a choking grip.  “I…I choose Man.”

Elrond spun around.  “ELROS!  You promised!”

Elros swallowed.  “I choose Man!” he declared, his voice ringing with destiny.  “It was shown unto me in dreams and visions that the son of Earendil would gain kingship over the Secondborn Children of Illuvatar.  In repayment for their suffering under the Dark One’s vengeance, they shall be granted an island upon the Sundering Seas, safe from the trials of the East, and forbidden the Undying Lands of the West.”

“You promised,” Elrond whispered brokenly.  “You promised.”  Even now, his body still hummed with the morning’s passionate declaration of said promise.

Elros looked at him, his eyes grief-dulled and full of resignation.  “I am sorry, Elrond.  Your fate is not mine.”

~~~~

Understandably, Elrond was not present at Elros’ departure for the island of Elenna, or for Elros’ coronation at the first High King of Numenor.  Nor was he present when Elros took the Lady Mairen as his wife and began the line of Kings.

It was not until Elros lay gray and dying that Elrond returned to him.  All were dismissed from the room as Elrond slid beneath the covers with his twin, picking up the fragile, clawed hand and placing it to his own chest.

And so it was between them.  Elrond held his brother-love close through the long hours of the night, whispering soft promises and words of love.  As the first rays of light broke onto the horizon, it was with gentle kisses that Elrond freed the soul of Elros Half-Elven from the body of Tar-Minyatur, thus sundering his own soul until the End of Days.

~~~~

Elrond sighed and closed his book, staring out at the colorful gardens of Imladris Reborn.  He reflected on how right Maglor had been the night he’d come to the confused and grieving Elrond with words of comfort.

The pain had never dissipated fully.  How could it, when one quite literally lost the other half of his soul?  But it did become easier to bear.  It had taken 400 years for Elrond to come to terms with Elros’ decision and the role Destiny had played in it.  It took ten more years for him to overcome his own damnable pride and be the first to make contact, only to find Elros’ still bright spirit trapped within the dying shell of his mortal body.  He supposed it was only right that he should be with Elros at death, just as he was at birth.

Elrond remembered the agony of those first few days after Elros’ death.  When the blood-bond between them had finally snapped, Elrond was certain his sanity would follow.  It had, until Elros’ youngest daughter, Tindomiel, had crawled into his lap and sought comfort.

From then on, Elrond became confidante and advisor to the descendants of Elros, often presiding over births and deaths.  He remained a treasured friend and advisor until the reign of Tar-Atanamir, when, for the first time, the shores of Numenor were closed to him.  He was forced to watch Numenor’s decline from afar, growing angry and resentful at the willingness of its people to turn their backs on the beliefs and customs born out of his sacrifice.

Elrond held no contact with Elros’ descendants again until Elendil, Isildur and Anarion reached the shores of Middle Earth after the cataclysm that destroyed the island and its people.  He welcomed Elros’ children with open arms, and again watched over them, carefully cultivating them, until finally, the day would come when the blood of Numenor would be reborn and Man’s Kingship restored.

Yes, the pain had become easier to bear with time.  Enough so that he’d fallen in love and wed Celebrian, fathered children, and ruled a realm.  He’d remained content until finally the World had been Broken and Sung anew.  He himself had been a Singer of this new Ea, restoring Arda to the lush splendor it had once he-

He blinked as a kiss to his neck roused him from his thoughts.  He smiled and turned, gazing up into mirror eyes.  “Just in time,” he purred.  “I was getting to the best part.”

Elros smiled.  “Oh?  And what part is that?”

“The part where you come back to me and we live happily for the rest of our days.”

“Ahhh…aye, that is a good part.  But I tend to think reality is so much more interesting.”  Elros plucked Elrond from the divan and carried him back into the bedchamber.

Elrond wrapped arms and legs around him.  “Aye, I believe it went something like this.”  He latched onto Elros’ neck and left tiny love-bites down the length.

Elros groaned.  “Aye, I do believe you are right.  And then I reached for the oil and did *this*…”  He slipped his fingers in, stretching and teasing Elrond until he writhed, begging for something more substantial.

Elros gave it to him, pushing in slowly to savor the tight, hot perfection only his twin possessed.  He leaned in for a soft kiss, and moved.

The pair writhed, grunts and groans filling the air.  Each fought to send the other into even higher heights of bliss, muscles flexing, bodies straining toward the inevitable climax…

~~~~

Down in the gardens, Elladan smiled and held Elrohir’s hand tighter as ecstatic cries floated down from their father’s balcony.  “As good as it is to see him happy again, I am relieved their fate was not ours.”

Elrohir chuckled and turned to the tall, golden elf at his side.  “Aye,” he said, leaning his head upon Gildor’s shoulder.  “I could not agree more.”

 

 

~~Fin~~