So, your story kept me up late last night. I had printed it and intended to just read the first paragraph and go to bed. Well it sucked me right in and I had to read the whole thing. Then I had to sit up and think about why I liked it so much. Well I loved this story, really loved it.
You do a very subtle thing with this request. I think you turned it very well. I like how Elladan's work is "the other" here and that his responsibilities are keeping them apart. I don't tend to read those complicated lover entangly things, so I like this much better. It seems very real to me and likely given the situation that they are in.
From the first here, we are with Haldir. From the moment he gets up, finds his robe and goes in search of his love, we sympathize, we walk with him, we search with him. The story draws us in and puts us with him every step of the way. The squeaky door, YES. The strength of this story is that I can see everything. I see what Haldir sees. The quiet house, his tired lover, everything. You describe it so well, that I feel I am there. This is what a story is supposed to do, bring us in there and make us a part of it.
I find Elladan's situation very believable and the integrity of what he will do for his sister is very in keeping with my perception of him as a character. The brothers would stay for her...how could they leave? You do really well here with encapsulating the canon thing but not letting it overwhelm the characters. We know what is happening...one is moving on, one is staying. But we don't have melodrama, no whimpering simpering. They love each other and they will find each other again...
I think you are the master of when to end a story. You are telling this evening, this night and giving us a glimpse of what is happening for them but not going beyond that. Yet, we know what will happen...it is hinted at, even stated. That is just so well done.
Last thing. I love your characterization of Haldir. Here he is not the typical fanon grumpy march warden. He is balanced and concerned. He cares deeply for his partner. I just love him and can see him very clearly.
Thank you for this story. It is a strong contribution to the selections this time. I hope you are getting the sense that I love your writing. I really look forward to your stories.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 08:36 pm (UTC)You do a very subtle thing with this request. I think you turned it very well. I like how Elladan's work is "the other" here and that his responsibilities are keeping them apart. I don't tend to read those complicated lover entangly things, so I like this much better. It seems very real to me and likely given the situation that they are in.
From the first here, we are with Haldir. From the moment he gets up, finds his robe and goes in search of his love, we sympathize, we walk with him, we search with him. The story draws us in and puts us with him every step of the way. The squeaky door, YES. The strength of this story is that I can see everything. I see what Haldir sees. The quiet house, his tired lover, everything. You describe it so well, that I feel I am there. This is what a story is supposed to do, bring us in there and make us a part of it.
I find Elladan's situation very believable and the integrity of what he will do for his sister is very in keeping with my perception of him as a character. The brothers would stay for her...how could they leave? You do really well here with encapsulating the canon thing but not letting it overwhelm the characters. We know what is happening...one is moving on, one is staying. But we don't have melodrama, no whimpering simpering. They love each other and they will find each other again...
I think you are the master of when to end a story. You are telling this evening, this night and giving us a glimpse of what is happening for them but not going beyond that. Yet, we know what will happen...it is hinted at, even stated. That is just so well done.
Last thing. I love your characterization of Haldir. Here he is not the typical fanon grumpy march warden. He is balanced and concerned. He cares deeply for his partner. I just love him and can see him very clearly.
Thank you for this story. It is a strong contribution to the selections this time.
I hope you are getting the sense that I love your writing. I really look forward to your stories.