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tolkien_slashy_swaps2008-08-18 12:20 pm
zilah1.livejournal.com) wrote in tolkien_slashy_swaps2008-08-18 12:20 pm
Entry tags:
AiA-Story: The Paths Of Destiny (Glorfindel/Námo) Angst, romance NC-17
Title:The Paths Of Destiny
Author:zilah
Email:zilah.o.imladris@gmail.com
Rating:NC-17
Pairing:Glorfindel/Námo
Warnings: Angst, Character death (nothing too graphic)
Beta: Aglarien
Request: Romance, sunlight, a little bit o angst, The words 'sunlight and shadow'. A picnic, a blindfold. Námo as a phantom lover at first. Start pre-exile,finish post War of the Ring.
Summary: Námo knows that Glorfindel is his soul-mate but what happens when the elf joins to the Noldor and follows them to the exile?
Written for: El
A/N: This was an intriguing request, and this story is very different from what I usually write. I hope you like the outcome.
And Thank you So much for your help, Agie. Without you, I was lost.
Feedback: Would be very much appreciated.
Enjoy,
zilah
THE PATHS OF DESTINY
Prologue: Of The Flight Of The Noldor (The Silmarillion, Chapter IX)
Araman, Year 4996, First Age
*
"They heard a loud voice, solemn and terrible, that bade them stand and give ear. Then all halted and stood still, and from end to end of the hosts of the Noldor the voice was heard speaking the curse and prophecy which is called the Prophecy of the North, and the Doom of the Noldor. Much it foretold in dark words, which the Noldor understood not until the woes indeed after befell them; but all heard the curse that was uttered upon those that would not stay nor seek the doom and pardon of the Valar.
" Tears unnumbered ye all shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains. On the House of Fëanor the wrath of the Valar lieth from the West unto the uttermost East, and upon all that will follow them it shall be laid also. Their Oath shall drive them, and yet betray them, and ever snatch away the very treasures that they have sworn to pursue. To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well; and by treason of kin unto kin, and the fear of treason, shall this come to pass. The Dispossessed shall they be for ever."
"Ye have spilled the blood of your kindred unrighteously and have stained the land of Aman. For blood ye shall render blood, and beyond Aman you shall dwell in Death's shadow. For though Eru appointed to you to die not in Eä, and no sickness may assail you, yet slain ye may be, and slain ye shall be: by weapon and by torment and by grief; and your houseless spirits shall come then to Mandos. There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity though all whom ye have slain should entreat for you. And those that endure in Middle-earth and not to Mandos shall grow weary of the world as with a great burden, and shall wane, and become as shadows of regret before the younger race that cometh after. The Valar have spoken."
* * * *
The lonely figure watched the departing elves, his heart aching with unbound pain. The Vala had fulfilled his quest and had spoken the words that doomed the refugees to the mercy of an unknown destiny, and in doing so he had broken his own heart beyond repair. Among the departing elves was the one who was destined to be the other half of his soul.
Námo extended his hand, but the gesture was doomed to be in vain. His love wouldn't see him, he wouldn't hear how his heart wept for him; he wouldn't even know how much he was loved. Tears blinded his eyes, as he saw the last glimpse of golden hair disappearing behind the mountains that closed behind them. No one would ever be able to return to Valinor using this same route.
Laurefindë hadn't taken part to the kinslaying, but nonetheless he shared the same destiny with those who had. He had joined with the others because his heart was young and he craved adventure. Little did he know about the Vala and all that he had left behind before their love had any possibility to become real. Laurefindë was still two years away from his majority and from the day when Námo would have been free to pursue him.
//Be at peace, my child. I have heard your pain and have listened to your agony. There will be a day when you will find the cure. But there is nothing you can do about it now. It was I who set the flame in Laurefindë's heart because he is needed among his kin. He has a great destiny before him and without him the fate of the Middle-.Earth would be much darker.//
//I can guess that. Your light burns so brightly in him that I have never seen anything like it. I feel empty and cold without him.// Námo confided to his father because it was The One himself who had come to console his son in his pain. A lonely tear made its way down Námo's cheek, but his heart was at peace. He whispered his well wishes to his love and then turned to leave.
* * * *
Gondolin, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age
*
"Nai tielyar nauvar laiquë arë laurië. Haryalyë melmenya, Laurefindë (May your ways be green and golden. I love you, Laurefindë.)"
Glorfindel's dreams were once again restless. Little rest did he find in slumber, as his nights were constantly plagued by nightmares and unnamed longing. Lately, the dreams had become more vivid and Glorfindel's heart was heavy. He felt that something terrible would happen, soon.
"Why am I seeing these dreams? Why do I have the feeling that everything I hold dear is going to disappear at any moment? Am I seeing into future? Is it possible that my beloved Ondolindë (Gondolin) is going to fall under Flame and Shadow?"
Glorfindel tossed about for one more moment until he finally gave up and rose from the bed. It seemed that the slumber was even more elusive on this particular night. He looked out of the window, feeling lonely and tired. The nightmares weren't the only thing that bothered him.
"Why I am still alone, even when all of my friends have found love and happiness? Why I feel so empty and incomplete, as if no one would ever love me?" Glorfindel thought again, his heart aching. The only consolation he had, the voice that whispered to him in his dreams, telling that he was loved. But even that felt like a poor, pitiful substitute now, when he was alone with his thoughts. Tears of loneliness and hopeless longing flowed from his eyes and he did nothing to stop them.
The painful truth was that Glorfindel had never had a lover. No one had never wanted to warm his heart and bed, and finally he had begun to think that he would be alone for all eternity.
* * * *
"You have to help me, brother. I cannot see him thus; his heart is breaking, and along with it, mine too. There has to be a way..." the Vala begged.
"And what will you do, even if I fulfilled your wish? You know that nothing of it would be real, but only a dream, doomed to be forgotten in the morning. Besides, his time is near. You will be reunited with him soon," the other one sighed.
"I don't care. I just want to ease his nights, even if he forgets me between them. I would do anything to see his beautiful smile again. Anything! And haven't I waited enough? Or Laurefindë? He has had no one, even if he is the most beautiful of all the Eldar."
"All right, I'll help you. But remember this: you are not allowed to reveal your true identity, nor that you are his destined soul-mate. The doom of Ondolindë (Gondolin) is upon them, and Laurefindë has an important task to do," Irmo, the Vala of the Dreams reminded his brother.
Námo nodded, " I am ready for anything. You know this."
"Are you really? Do you know what else you have to go through if you want to accomplish your crazy plan?" Irmo muttered darkly.
* * * *
Glorfindel saw the familiar dream, but this time something was different. The voice was more powerful, and he felt a strange presence that he had never felt before. There was one more thing about the voice that Glorfindel feared to admit even to himself: it was deep and melodious, teasing his nerves in a way that made him hot and restless. He could also hear affection in it, as if the unknown speaker knew him.
"Nai tielyar nauvar laiquë arë laurië. Haryalyë melmenya, Laurefindë."
"Why are you calling me with that name? We are far from the shores of Valinor," Glorfindel wondered aloud, and to his astonishment, the voice answered him. That had never happened before.
"You will always be Laurefindë to me, melmë (love), no matter what others call you. You left me behind when you left your home, Laurefindë. Even then I loved you, but I could do nothing because your destiny lies here in Middle-earth."
"Why haven't you come to me, if you love me? I have heard you all these years and I have yearned for you more, but still I am alone," Glorfindel asked, silently hoping that his unknown companion would reveal himself.
"I have my own duties to fulfil. Only in your dreams could I reach you to ease your loneliness."
"What has changed? Why are we having this conversation if you have never before answered me?"
"Because I felt your pain, Laurefindë, and I don't want you to be sad and lonely anymore. All I want is to make you happy, melmë."
Glorfindel's breath caught at that. He knew that his dream-suitor must be very powerful; he could feel it. He could also hear deep emotions in that voice and he felt something stirring in him.
"I want that too. But I would like to see you," Glorfindel said slowly. The short silence followed his words, but finally he got the answer.
"Turn around, Laurefindë. I am waiting for you." The voice whispered, and Glorfindel could hear a nervous anticipation in it. He hesitated for a moment, but finally he turned around and found himself looking into the most beautiful face he had ever seen.
* * * *
Glorfindel could only stare at the amazing vision before his very eyes. The creature was very elf-like, but something told Glorfindel that he was more than that. His raven hair spread wildly over his shoulders and back, reaching his waist, and he had captivating dark eyes and the smoothest skin Glorfindel had ever seen. He wore only a thin, dark robe that clung to his body in a way that made Glorfindel ache with sudden need to have this creature as his own.
"Who are you?" Glorfindel asked with the breathless voice.
"I am not allowed to tell you, Laurefindë," the creature said, suddenly saddened.
"I know that you someone important, and much more powerful than me. Why me? Why would you choose someone like me?"
The creature now had a soft smile upon his lips and he extended his hand, gently touching Glorfindel's cheek. Glorfindel shuddered, and even if the touch wasn't meant to be erotic, it still managed to set his soul and body aflame. He realized that he was looking his destiny in the eye.
"I chose you, because you are beautiful. It is not only your appearance that is stunning, but Ilúvatar's light shines upon your face so that everyone near you can see it. You are the most amazing of all His children, melmë."
"I could say the same about you. I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you," Glorfindel breathed, instinctively stepping closer. He didn't resist as strong arms drew him close and into a first, earth-shattering kiss.
* * * *
Glorfindel leaned weakly against his lover, completely breathless and flushed. For the first time in his whole life, he felt safe and loved. He trembled as his lover gently caressed his hair and back, all the while whispering how much he loved him. He didn't resist as his lover lifted him up and carried him to the bed. Glorfindel couldn't think; he didn't even start to question where they were or where the bed had came from. The only thing that mattered to Glorfindel was the intoxicating closeness of his lover and the fire that burned in his veins. Dark eyes stared at him lovingly, as gentle hands undressed him slowly, finally baring him completely for his lover. Glorfindel tried to fight against the urge to cover himself when dark eyes roamed over his body for the first time. Flushed, he turned his eyes away, but his lover would have none of it.
"Look at me, melmë. I want you to look at me and see how much I love and want you. I want only love and bliss between us, but no fear or shame."
"I don't fear you. I want you," Glorfindel whispered with the courage he didn't know he had. Without hesitation, he extended his hands and began to undress his lover, suddenly eager to see him completely. Nothing could have prepared him for the glorious truth when the raven-haired creature finally lay before him beautiful and naked. Dark eyes burned into him invitingly, and Glorfindel leaned into his lover's arms for the first time. He gasped, surprised, as he found himself atop his lover and met the other's gaze questioningly.
"I cannot take you now, Laurefindë. We must go our separate ways in the morning, and the after-effects of taking you would cause you to remember this night. In the morning, you will have peace in your heart but no memories of me," Námo said, his heart aching. He craved making Laurefindë as his own, but he wasn't allowed to do that, not yet. He tried to soften his rejection with his caresses, but nonetheless he could see his lover's disappointment. At that moment, Námo finally understood Irmo's enigmatic words to him and he knew the solution.
"But how then... I want you so much! I want to make love with you no matter what," Glorfindel said, fearing that his beautiful dream was about to change into a nightmare and he would be alone once more. At his utter relief, his lover didn't seem to have any such intentions. Instead, the raven-haired creature held him, caressing him gently.
"We will make love, melmë. You will have me, if that is your wish," the soft voice whispered to Glorfindel, and the elf melted into the sensual embrace.
Námo hadn't planned to yield that night, but he did so nonetheless. As he had sworn to Irmo, he was ready to do anything to make his beloved happy. And so Glorfindel made love to his soul-mate without even knowing his true identity. If he had known that it was the Vala of the Dead who yielded to him so sweetly, he might have been frightened or at least hesitant, but now he claimed the raven-haired beauty with breathtaking force and passion. When they finally laid in the aftermath in their shared bliss, Glorfindel whispered his wish to be with his lover forever. Námo hid his tears and forced himself to answer, "Our time will come, but not now, melmë. I will wait for you."
* * * *
Glorfindel woke in the morning feeling completely different. It took a while to think of what had changed, but finally he realized several things: he wasn't tired, but felt alive and ready to begin his day. For the first time in decades he had slept peacefully, without nightmares tormenting his dreams. And it became obvious that he had found release in more than one way; for the first time since his majority, he had spilled his seed.
For some unknown reason, this didn't make Glorfindel embarrassed. He grinned, feeling like a youngling after his first experience in the ways of love. He bathed and dressed, and for the first time in years he felt peaceful, almost happy.
* * * *
All around Glorfindel noticed a change in him. The Lord of The Golden Flower had always been aloof, but there had always been a noticeable sadness in him too. The truth was that despite his kindness, Lord Glorfindel seemed unapproachable to others, and no one had ever dared to pursue him. His new happiness didn't change that fact but many rejoiced secretly for the lonely Lord.
The days went on and Gondolin's time finally came. Glorfindel had time to enjoy his dreams only a few short months before disaster struck. That evening, he settled to bed as usual and drifted to sleep, but this time, his dream-lover didn't come to him.
In the morning, Glorfindel's heart was heavy, but even more was coming. Wearily, he looked out and saw the terrible sight. In a fleeting moment, he realized that the reddening sky was the mark of their doom. The days of his beloved city were coming to an end. Numbly, he dressed in his armour and took up his sword. He was fully ready to defend his people until death. Hadn't he anticipated a long time ago that this day would come?
* * * *
Cirith Thoronath, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age
The refugees struggled to get trough the secret way as quickly as possible. The road was extremely dangerous, but it was the only way to get away from the doomed city. At first it seemed that they had managed to escape unnoticed, but soon their hope was cruelly crushed. Orcs appeared all around them, and the last remnants of the warriors threw themselves into battle. They managed to fight back for a while, but all was lost when they saw their destiny coming in a form of Balrog.
Fire and Shadow and death were in the steps of this monster; it was one of the most terrifying creatures Morgoth had created. Glorfindel refused to give up, even if the strongest heart trembled before this new threat. He commanded his friends to back up and stared his destiny in the eye.
Long and hard they fought and many songs have been sung of their duel. Long did Glorfindel manage to keep the monster at bay, but finally, at the moment of the victory, his time had come to an end. Together they fell to their death into the endless abyss, and many mourned the valiant Lord who had sacrificed his life to save them.
* * * *
The Halls Of Waiting, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age
Glorfindel walked trough the misty road, and in his heart was peace. He knew that he was dead. He had to be after that fall, but he didn't care. Something was about to happen; something that would change his life forever. He could feel it. Absent-minded, he wondered if anyone had ever made his way to the Halls of Waiting with a smile on his face.
"Come to me, melmë. You have been sorely missed."
Glorfindel broke into a run and launched himself into his lover's arms. Again and again they kissed until they both were flushed and breathless.
"Take me home, melmë. I want you to take me and make yours forever," Glorfindel whispered, and his heart sang.
* * * *
"I have waited for this moment for so long," Glorfindel admitted, as Námo gently lowered him on the bed. Despite his nakedness, or the fact that this was his first time, he wasn't afraid. It didn't bother him at all that his soul-mate was a Vala, and the one whose reputation had always been awe-inspiring. With him, to him, Námo wasn't the Doomsman, but the one who was meant for him.
"I have waited as well, more than you know," the Vala sighed, as he settled beside Glorfindel and took him in his arms.
"Oh... this feels so much better than in my dreams," Glorfindel whispered with a breathless voice. He shivered as their bare bodies pressed together and he could feel Námo's arousal against his belly. An almost painful desire arose in Glorfindel's heart; how he longed for the moment when he would feel his lover within him!
Glorfindel forgot everything else as the true owner of his heart slowly proceeded to claim him. Without hesitation, he opened up to his lover and moaned his name as the possessive kisses and caresses continued.
"So beautiful... I have longed to see you in this way, lying upon silk and satin, naked and burning for my touch," Námo breathed, letting his gaze wander on Glorfindel's writhing body. Sapphire eyes shone with a silent plea and the Vala knew that he would never see a sight more beautiful. He bent down, and broken cry echoed in his ears as he tasted Glorfindel for the first time.
Glorfindel was incoherent with desire. Moans and gasps escaped from his lips as his arousal pulsed in the tight heat of Námo's mouth. Without even knowing it, Glorfindel spread his legs wider allowing his lover access to his most private part. Slowly, the probing digit pushed in, finding a sensitive spot inside him. Glorfindel cried out his lover's name as his world shattered into white-hot waves of bliss. He tried to gather his wits after a mind-blowing orgasm, as Námo gently settled atop him.
"This is it, melmë. You are mine now, Laurefindë," the Vala whispered, and Glorfindel cried out as he was slowly filled. Námo too moaned in bliss as he sank further into the willing body and set a slow but satisfying pace. He looked at Glorfindel's face that glowed with happiness and love.
Nothing had ever felt so right to Glorfindel as Námo in his arms, within him, filling him in a way no one had ever done before. He clung on to Námo's raven hair, seeking his lips, and they kissed hungrily, pouring all the love they had for each other into it. Glorfindel lost all control as strong fingers wrapped around his aching arousal, stroking him at the same pace as the Vala's thrusts. He cried out in bliss, releasing his seed over Námo's hand and his own stomach. The Vala shuddered in his arms, as Glorfindel felt his completion pulsing into him. Their bond sizzled and sparkled in the air, finally wrapping around them both like a warm, protective blanket. Glorfindel wept with joy as he held his mate's languid body in his arms.
"I am Laurefindë once more, and I love you forever," he whispered. Námo met his gaze and he saw the dark, beautiful eyes shining with same emotion as his own: love and contentment.
* * * *
The Halls Of Waiting, Year Of The Sun 1000, Third Age
Laurefindë stared at his lover, completely devastated.
"You cannot mean that! Why are they doing this to us? Haven't we already had our share of suffering?" he asked, as tears began to flow from his eyes.
"I wish I knew the answer to that, but you are needed once more, melmë. The Shadow in Middle-earth is rising once more, and we cannot leave them on their own," Námo said softly, feeling his heart break with the thought of their nearing separation. Laurefindë was his sunshine, the mate of his heart, and without him the Halls of Waiting would be a place full of shadows and agony.
"Will you visit me? I don't think I can live completely without you, no matter how badly they need me," Laurefindë whispered.
"I will. It seems that I will be your dream-lover once more. But this time you will remember me in the morning. Come to bed, melmë. Let me love you once more before you leave," Námo said. He needed to fill his senses and thoughts with his beloved so that he would bear this separation.
* * * *
The Great Sea, Year Of The Sun 3021, Third Age
Glorfindel stood on the deck, looking longingly to the West. His second life had been plagued by grief and hopeless longing, but he had finally fulfilled his destiny, and his lover was waiting for him. The wind sang in the ship's sails as they glided over the water towards home.
Glorfindel was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the approaching footsteps. He almost flinched as the familiar voice of his Lord suddenly addressed to him.
"You have changed, meldir. I wouldn't have been able to sneak up on you like this earlier." Elrond chuckled and Glorfindel found himself blushing.
"I have waited for this moment for so long," Glorfindel said slowly, but didn't offer any other information to his nosy friend. In truth, Elrond had been a good and extremely loyal friend, and Glorfindel liked and respected him. The only feature that annoyed Glorfindel was Elrond's habit of trying to play match-maker for him. It was beyond Elrond's imagination that Glorfindel didn't need a mate beside him.
"You have had no one in your life, Glorfindel. Who it is, then, that you couldn't forget after all these years?"
Glorfindel smiled, but his eyes were sad. "I have had 'someone' all this time, as you put it. We just needed to separate so that I could come back and serve you."
Elrond was astonished. This was a bit of information that he had never received before. Glorfindel had always been extremely secretive about his life. "Do you know that your lover is still waiting for you in Valinor?" Elrond asked, and this time his voice revealed an echo of old pain. Glorfindel's heart ached for his friend because he knew the source of it. The half-elf had loved his wife, but he had been unable to heal her. And Celebrían had left, saying that she wouldn't wait for Elrond.
"He is waiting for me. There never was anyone else for either of us. I have always loved only him."
"I am happy for you then. You deserve to be happy after all these years."
"So do you, Elrond. Go back to your beloved, before he becomes worried," Glorfindel coaxed his friend and smiled, as Elrond flushed.
"Lindir is a miracle. I thought earlier that Celebrían was my true soul-mate, the one whom I was meant to be with. But when he came... and I knew that it was him who I waited all those years for," Elrond admitted.
Glorfindel's heart went out for his friend. Elrond too had had more than his share of grief and loss. Without Lindir's love he would have faded from his grief.
"Lindir is amazing soul. And he loves you with all his heart. Go to him, and enjoy your happiness. I need to wait just a little longer, but I know that my lover is waiting for me. The moment I step on the shore, I will be in his arms," Glorfindel said, and this time Elrond obeyed, eager to return to his beloved.
Glorfindel set his eyes back to the West, Elrond's words echoing in his mind. It was true what the half-elf had said. He had recognized the other half of his soul the very first moment they had met, and he had loved Námo even before he knew his true identity. But now all that was over, and his own, true identity was slowly dawning to him. Námo always addressed him with his old name, even if he had been Glorfindel for so long. Now he felt that the name Glorfindel belonged to Middle- earth with the all he had left behind.
With a smile he whispered, "I am Laurefindë once more, and I am going to home, to my beloved."
FIN.
Author:zilah
Email:zilah.o.imladris@gmail.com
Rating:NC-17
Pairing:Glorfindel/Námo
Warnings: Angst, Character death (nothing too graphic)
Beta: Aglarien
Request: Romance, sunlight, a little bit o angst, The words 'sunlight and shadow'. A picnic, a blindfold. Námo as a phantom lover at first. Start pre-exile,finish post War of the Ring.
Summary: Námo knows that Glorfindel is his soul-mate but what happens when the elf joins to the Noldor and follows them to the exile?
Written for: El
A/N: This was an intriguing request, and this story is very different from what I usually write. I hope you like the outcome.
And Thank you So much for your help, Agie. Without you, I was lost.
Feedback: Would be very much appreciated.
Enjoy,
zilah
THE PATHS OF DESTINY
Prologue: Of The Flight Of The Noldor (The Silmarillion, Chapter IX)
Araman, Year 4996, First Age
*
"They heard a loud voice, solemn and terrible, that bade them stand and give ear. Then all halted and stood still, and from end to end of the hosts of the Noldor the voice was heard speaking the curse and prophecy which is called the Prophecy of the North, and the Doom of the Noldor. Much it foretold in dark words, which the Noldor understood not until the woes indeed after befell them; but all heard the curse that was uttered upon those that would not stay nor seek the doom and pardon of the Valar.
" Tears unnumbered ye all shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains. On the House of Fëanor the wrath of the Valar lieth from the West unto the uttermost East, and upon all that will follow them it shall be laid also. Their Oath shall drive them, and yet betray them, and ever snatch away the very treasures that they have sworn to pursue. To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well; and by treason of kin unto kin, and the fear of treason, shall this come to pass. The Dispossessed shall they be for ever."
"Ye have spilled the blood of your kindred unrighteously and have stained the land of Aman. For blood ye shall render blood, and beyond Aman you shall dwell in Death's shadow. For though Eru appointed to you to die not in Eä, and no sickness may assail you, yet slain ye may be, and slain ye shall be: by weapon and by torment and by grief; and your houseless spirits shall come then to Mandos. There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity though all whom ye have slain should entreat for you. And those that endure in Middle-earth and not to Mandos shall grow weary of the world as with a great burden, and shall wane, and become as shadows of regret before the younger race that cometh after. The Valar have spoken."
* * * *
The lonely figure watched the departing elves, his heart aching with unbound pain. The Vala had fulfilled his quest and had spoken the words that doomed the refugees to the mercy of an unknown destiny, and in doing so he had broken his own heart beyond repair. Among the departing elves was the one who was destined to be the other half of his soul.
Námo extended his hand, but the gesture was doomed to be in vain. His love wouldn't see him, he wouldn't hear how his heart wept for him; he wouldn't even know how much he was loved. Tears blinded his eyes, as he saw the last glimpse of golden hair disappearing behind the mountains that closed behind them. No one would ever be able to return to Valinor using this same route.
Laurefindë hadn't taken part to the kinslaying, but nonetheless he shared the same destiny with those who had. He had joined with the others because his heart was young and he craved adventure. Little did he know about the Vala and all that he had left behind before their love had any possibility to become real. Laurefindë was still two years away from his majority and from the day when Námo would have been free to pursue him.
//Be at peace, my child. I have heard your pain and have listened to your agony. There will be a day when you will find the cure. But there is nothing you can do about it now. It was I who set the flame in Laurefindë's heart because he is needed among his kin. He has a great destiny before him and without him the fate of the Middle-.Earth would be much darker.//
//I can guess that. Your light burns so brightly in him that I have never seen anything like it. I feel empty and cold without him.// Námo confided to his father because it was The One himself who had come to console his son in his pain. A lonely tear made its way down Námo's cheek, but his heart was at peace. He whispered his well wishes to his love and then turned to leave.
* * * *
Gondolin, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age
*
"Nai tielyar nauvar laiquë arë laurië. Haryalyë melmenya, Laurefindë (May your ways be green and golden. I love you, Laurefindë.)"
Glorfindel's dreams were once again restless. Little rest did he find in slumber, as his nights were constantly plagued by nightmares and unnamed longing. Lately, the dreams had become more vivid and Glorfindel's heart was heavy. He felt that something terrible would happen, soon.
"Why am I seeing these dreams? Why do I have the feeling that everything I hold dear is going to disappear at any moment? Am I seeing into future? Is it possible that my beloved Ondolindë (Gondolin) is going to fall under Flame and Shadow?"
Glorfindel tossed about for one more moment until he finally gave up and rose from the bed. It seemed that the slumber was even more elusive on this particular night. He looked out of the window, feeling lonely and tired. The nightmares weren't the only thing that bothered him.
"Why I am still alone, even when all of my friends have found love and happiness? Why I feel so empty and incomplete, as if no one would ever love me?" Glorfindel thought again, his heart aching. The only consolation he had, the voice that whispered to him in his dreams, telling that he was loved. But even that felt like a poor, pitiful substitute now, when he was alone with his thoughts. Tears of loneliness and hopeless longing flowed from his eyes and he did nothing to stop them.
The painful truth was that Glorfindel had never had a lover. No one had never wanted to warm his heart and bed, and finally he had begun to think that he would be alone for all eternity.
* * * *
"You have to help me, brother. I cannot see him thus; his heart is breaking, and along with it, mine too. There has to be a way..." the Vala begged.
"And what will you do, even if I fulfilled your wish? You know that nothing of it would be real, but only a dream, doomed to be forgotten in the morning. Besides, his time is near. You will be reunited with him soon," the other one sighed.
"I don't care. I just want to ease his nights, even if he forgets me between them. I would do anything to see his beautiful smile again. Anything! And haven't I waited enough? Or Laurefindë? He has had no one, even if he is the most beautiful of all the Eldar."
"All right, I'll help you. But remember this: you are not allowed to reveal your true identity, nor that you are his destined soul-mate. The doom of Ondolindë (Gondolin) is upon them, and Laurefindë has an important task to do," Irmo, the Vala of the Dreams reminded his brother.
Námo nodded, " I am ready for anything. You know this."
"Are you really? Do you know what else you have to go through if you want to accomplish your crazy plan?" Irmo muttered darkly.
* * * *
Glorfindel saw the familiar dream, but this time something was different. The voice was more powerful, and he felt a strange presence that he had never felt before. There was one more thing about the voice that Glorfindel feared to admit even to himself: it was deep and melodious, teasing his nerves in a way that made him hot and restless. He could also hear affection in it, as if the unknown speaker knew him.
"Nai tielyar nauvar laiquë arë laurië. Haryalyë melmenya, Laurefindë."
"Why are you calling me with that name? We are far from the shores of Valinor," Glorfindel wondered aloud, and to his astonishment, the voice answered him. That had never happened before.
"You will always be Laurefindë to me, melmë (love), no matter what others call you. You left me behind when you left your home, Laurefindë. Even then I loved you, but I could do nothing because your destiny lies here in Middle-earth."
"Why haven't you come to me, if you love me? I have heard you all these years and I have yearned for you more, but still I am alone," Glorfindel asked, silently hoping that his unknown companion would reveal himself.
"I have my own duties to fulfil. Only in your dreams could I reach you to ease your loneliness."
"What has changed? Why are we having this conversation if you have never before answered me?"
"Because I felt your pain, Laurefindë, and I don't want you to be sad and lonely anymore. All I want is to make you happy, melmë."
Glorfindel's breath caught at that. He knew that his dream-suitor must be very powerful; he could feel it. He could also hear deep emotions in that voice and he felt something stirring in him.
"I want that too. But I would like to see you," Glorfindel said slowly. The short silence followed his words, but finally he got the answer.
"Turn around, Laurefindë. I am waiting for you." The voice whispered, and Glorfindel could hear a nervous anticipation in it. He hesitated for a moment, but finally he turned around and found himself looking into the most beautiful face he had ever seen.
* * * *
Glorfindel could only stare at the amazing vision before his very eyes. The creature was very elf-like, but something told Glorfindel that he was more than that. His raven hair spread wildly over his shoulders and back, reaching his waist, and he had captivating dark eyes and the smoothest skin Glorfindel had ever seen. He wore only a thin, dark robe that clung to his body in a way that made Glorfindel ache with sudden need to have this creature as his own.
"Who are you?" Glorfindel asked with the breathless voice.
"I am not allowed to tell you, Laurefindë," the creature said, suddenly saddened.
"I know that you someone important, and much more powerful than me. Why me? Why would you choose someone like me?"
The creature now had a soft smile upon his lips and he extended his hand, gently touching Glorfindel's cheek. Glorfindel shuddered, and even if the touch wasn't meant to be erotic, it still managed to set his soul and body aflame. He realized that he was looking his destiny in the eye.
"I chose you, because you are beautiful. It is not only your appearance that is stunning, but Ilúvatar's light shines upon your face so that everyone near you can see it. You are the most amazing of all His children, melmë."
"I could say the same about you. I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you," Glorfindel breathed, instinctively stepping closer. He didn't resist as strong arms drew him close and into a first, earth-shattering kiss.
* * * *
Glorfindel leaned weakly against his lover, completely breathless and flushed. For the first time in his whole life, he felt safe and loved. He trembled as his lover gently caressed his hair and back, all the while whispering how much he loved him. He didn't resist as his lover lifted him up and carried him to the bed. Glorfindel couldn't think; he didn't even start to question where they were or where the bed had came from. The only thing that mattered to Glorfindel was the intoxicating closeness of his lover and the fire that burned in his veins. Dark eyes stared at him lovingly, as gentle hands undressed him slowly, finally baring him completely for his lover. Glorfindel tried to fight against the urge to cover himself when dark eyes roamed over his body for the first time. Flushed, he turned his eyes away, but his lover would have none of it.
"Look at me, melmë. I want you to look at me and see how much I love and want you. I want only love and bliss between us, but no fear or shame."
"I don't fear you. I want you," Glorfindel whispered with the courage he didn't know he had. Without hesitation, he extended his hands and began to undress his lover, suddenly eager to see him completely. Nothing could have prepared him for the glorious truth when the raven-haired creature finally lay before him beautiful and naked. Dark eyes burned into him invitingly, and Glorfindel leaned into his lover's arms for the first time. He gasped, surprised, as he found himself atop his lover and met the other's gaze questioningly.
"I cannot take you now, Laurefindë. We must go our separate ways in the morning, and the after-effects of taking you would cause you to remember this night. In the morning, you will have peace in your heart but no memories of me," Námo said, his heart aching. He craved making Laurefindë as his own, but he wasn't allowed to do that, not yet. He tried to soften his rejection with his caresses, but nonetheless he could see his lover's disappointment. At that moment, Námo finally understood Irmo's enigmatic words to him and he knew the solution.
"But how then... I want you so much! I want to make love with you no matter what," Glorfindel said, fearing that his beautiful dream was about to change into a nightmare and he would be alone once more. At his utter relief, his lover didn't seem to have any such intentions. Instead, the raven-haired creature held him, caressing him gently.
"We will make love, melmë. You will have me, if that is your wish," the soft voice whispered to Glorfindel, and the elf melted into the sensual embrace.
Námo hadn't planned to yield that night, but he did so nonetheless. As he had sworn to Irmo, he was ready to do anything to make his beloved happy. And so Glorfindel made love to his soul-mate without even knowing his true identity. If he had known that it was the Vala of the Dead who yielded to him so sweetly, he might have been frightened or at least hesitant, but now he claimed the raven-haired beauty with breathtaking force and passion. When they finally laid in the aftermath in their shared bliss, Glorfindel whispered his wish to be with his lover forever. Námo hid his tears and forced himself to answer, "Our time will come, but not now, melmë. I will wait for you."
* * * *
Glorfindel woke in the morning feeling completely different. It took a while to think of what had changed, but finally he realized several things: he wasn't tired, but felt alive and ready to begin his day. For the first time in decades he had slept peacefully, without nightmares tormenting his dreams. And it became obvious that he had found release in more than one way; for the first time since his majority, he had spilled his seed.
For some unknown reason, this didn't make Glorfindel embarrassed. He grinned, feeling like a youngling after his first experience in the ways of love. He bathed and dressed, and for the first time in years he felt peaceful, almost happy.
* * * *
All around Glorfindel noticed a change in him. The Lord of The Golden Flower had always been aloof, but there had always been a noticeable sadness in him too. The truth was that despite his kindness, Lord Glorfindel seemed unapproachable to others, and no one had ever dared to pursue him. His new happiness didn't change that fact but many rejoiced secretly for the lonely Lord.
The days went on and Gondolin's time finally came. Glorfindel had time to enjoy his dreams only a few short months before disaster struck. That evening, he settled to bed as usual and drifted to sleep, but this time, his dream-lover didn't come to him.
In the morning, Glorfindel's heart was heavy, but even more was coming. Wearily, he looked out and saw the terrible sight. In a fleeting moment, he realized that the reddening sky was the mark of their doom. The days of his beloved city were coming to an end. Numbly, he dressed in his armour and took up his sword. He was fully ready to defend his people until death. Hadn't he anticipated a long time ago that this day would come?
* * * *
Cirith Thoronath, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age
The refugees struggled to get trough the secret way as quickly as possible. The road was extremely dangerous, but it was the only way to get away from the doomed city. At first it seemed that they had managed to escape unnoticed, but soon their hope was cruelly crushed. Orcs appeared all around them, and the last remnants of the warriors threw themselves into battle. They managed to fight back for a while, but all was lost when they saw their destiny coming in a form of Balrog.
Fire and Shadow and death were in the steps of this monster; it was one of the most terrifying creatures Morgoth had created. Glorfindel refused to give up, even if the strongest heart trembled before this new threat. He commanded his friends to back up and stared his destiny in the eye.
Long and hard they fought and many songs have been sung of their duel. Long did Glorfindel manage to keep the monster at bay, but finally, at the moment of the victory, his time had come to an end. Together they fell to their death into the endless abyss, and many mourned the valiant Lord who had sacrificed his life to save them.
* * * *
The Halls Of Waiting, Year Of The Sun 510, First Age
Glorfindel walked trough the misty road, and in his heart was peace. He knew that he was dead. He had to be after that fall, but he didn't care. Something was about to happen; something that would change his life forever. He could feel it. Absent-minded, he wondered if anyone had ever made his way to the Halls of Waiting with a smile on his face.
"Come to me, melmë. You have been sorely missed."
Glorfindel broke into a run and launched himself into his lover's arms. Again and again they kissed until they both were flushed and breathless.
"Take me home, melmë. I want you to take me and make yours forever," Glorfindel whispered, and his heart sang.
* * * *
"I have waited for this moment for so long," Glorfindel admitted, as Námo gently lowered him on the bed. Despite his nakedness, or the fact that this was his first time, he wasn't afraid. It didn't bother him at all that his soul-mate was a Vala, and the one whose reputation had always been awe-inspiring. With him, to him, Námo wasn't the Doomsman, but the one who was meant for him.
"I have waited as well, more than you know," the Vala sighed, as he settled beside Glorfindel and took him in his arms.
"Oh... this feels so much better than in my dreams," Glorfindel whispered with a breathless voice. He shivered as their bare bodies pressed together and he could feel Námo's arousal against his belly. An almost painful desire arose in Glorfindel's heart; how he longed for the moment when he would feel his lover within him!
Glorfindel forgot everything else as the true owner of his heart slowly proceeded to claim him. Without hesitation, he opened up to his lover and moaned his name as the possessive kisses and caresses continued.
"So beautiful... I have longed to see you in this way, lying upon silk and satin, naked and burning for my touch," Námo breathed, letting his gaze wander on Glorfindel's writhing body. Sapphire eyes shone with a silent plea and the Vala knew that he would never see a sight more beautiful. He bent down, and broken cry echoed in his ears as he tasted Glorfindel for the first time.
Glorfindel was incoherent with desire. Moans and gasps escaped from his lips as his arousal pulsed in the tight heat of Námo's mouth. Without even knowing it, Glorfindel spread his legs wider allowing his lover access to his most private part. Slowly, the probing digit pushed in, finding a sensitive spot inside him. Glorfindel cried out his lover's name as his world shattered into white-hot waves of bliss. He tried to gather his wits after a mind-blowing orgasm, as Námo gently settled atop him.
"This is it, melmë. You are mine now, Laurefindë," the Vala whispered, and Glorfindel cried out as he was slowly filled. Námo too moaned in bliss as he sank further into the willing body and set a slow but satisfying pace. He looked at Glorfindel's face that glowed with happiness and love.
Nothing had ever felt so right to Glorfindel as Námo in his arms, within him, filling him in a way no one had ever done before. He clung on to Námo's raven hair, seeking his lips, and they kissed hungrily, pouring all the love they had for each other into it. Glorfindel lost all control as strong fingers wrapped around his aching arousal, stroking him at the same pace as the Vala's thrusts. He cried out in bliss, releasing his seed over Námo's hand and his own stomach. The Vala shuddered in his arms, as Glorfindel felt his completion pulsing into him. Their bond sizzled and sparkled in the air, finally wrapping around them both like a warm, protective blanket. Glorfindel wept with joy as he held his mate's languid body in his arms.
"I am Laurefindë once more, and I love you forever," he whispered. Námo met his gaze and he saw the dark, beautiful eyes shining with same emotion as his own: love and contentment.
* * * *
The Halls Of Waiting, Year Of The Sun 1000, Third Age
Laurefindë stared at his lover, completely devastated.
"You cannot mean that! Why are they doing this to us? Haven't we already had our share of suffering?" he asked, as tears began to flow from his eyes.
"I wish I knew the answer to that, but you are needed once more, melmë. The Shadow in Middle-earth is rising once more, and we cannot leave them on their own," Námo said softly, feeling his heart break with the thought of their nearing separation. Laurefindë was his sunshine, the mate of his heart, and without him the Halls of Waiting would be a place full of shadows and agony.
"Will you visit me? I don't think I can live completely without you, no matter how badly they need me," Laurefindë whispered.
"I will. It seems that I will be your dream-lover once more. But this time you will remember me in the morning. Come to bed, melmë. Let me love you once more before you leave," Námo said. He needed to fill his senses and thoughts with his beloved so that he would bear this separation.
* * * *
The Great Sea, Year Of The Sun 3021, Third Age
Glorfindel stood on the deck, looking longingly to the West. His second life had been plagued by grief and hopeless longing, but he had finally fulfilled his destiny, and his lover was waiting for him. The wind sang in the ship's sails as they glided over the water towards home.
Glorfindel was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the approaching footsteps. He almost flinched as the familiar voice of his Lord suddenly addressed to him.
"You have changed, meldir. I wouldn't have been able to sneak up on you like this earlier." Elrond chuckled and Glorfindel found himself blushing.
"I have waited for this moment for so long," Glorfindel said slowly, but didn't offer any other information to his nosy friend. In truth, Elrond had been a good and extremely loyal friend, and Glorfindel liked and respected him. The only feature that annoyed Glorfindel was Elrond's habit of trying to play match-maker for him. It was beyond Elrond's imagination that Glorfindel didn't need a mate beside him.
"You have had no one in your life, Glorfindel. Who it is, then, that you couldn't forget after all these years?"
Glorfindel smiled, but his eyes were sad. "I have had 'someone' all this time, as you put it. We just needed to separate so that I could come back and serve you."
Elrond was astonished. This was a bit of information that he had never received before. Glorfindel had always been extremely secretive about his life. "Do you know that your lover is still waiting for you in Valinor?" Elrond asked, and this time his voice revealed an echo of old pain. Glorfindel's heart ached for his friend because he knew the source of it. The half-elf had loved his wife, but he had been unable to heal her. And Celebrían had left, saying that she wouldn't wait for Elrond.
"He is waiting for me. There never was anyone else for either of us. I have always loved only him."
"I am happy for you then. You deserve to be happy after all these years."
"So do you, Elrond. Go back to your beloved, before he becomes worried," Glorfindel coaxed his friend and smiled, as Elrond flushed.
"Lindir is a miracle. I thought earlier that Celebrían was my true soul-mate, the one whom I was meant to be with. But when he came... and I knew that it was him who I waited all those years for," Elrond admitted.
Glorfindel's heart went out for his friend. Elrond too had had more than his share of grief and loss. Without Lindir's love he would have faded from his grief.
"Lindir is amazing soul. And he loves you with all his heart. Go to him, and enjoy your happiness. I need to wait just a little longer, but I know that my lover is waiting for me. The moment I step on the shore, I will be in his arms," Glorfindel said, and this time Elrond obeyed, eager to return to his beloved.
Glorfindel set his eyes back to the West, Elrond's words echoing in his mind. It was true what the half-elf had said. He had recognized the other half of his soul the very first moment they had met, and he had loved Námo even before he knew his true identity. But now all that was over, and his own, true identity was slowly dawning to him. Námo always addressed him with his old name, even if he had been Glorfindel for so long. Now he felt that the name Glorfindel belonged to Middle- earth with the all he had left behind.
With a smile he whispered, "I am Laurefindë once more, and I am going to home, to my beloved."
FIN.
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Hugs Binky xxxx
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*Hugs*
zilah
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A slathering of angst followed by a lovely ending. What more could you ask for?
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*Hugs*
zilah
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*Hugs*
zilah
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Lovely story!
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I am really glad that you mentioned that Doom Of The Noldor. I just knew that it would suit beautifully with this story.
*Hugs*
zilah